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Tune Sleuth Investigates Classic “She Was” by Mark Chesnutt

February 23rd, 2009 orlando5 No comments

…………………….Tune Sleuth

After receiving a confidential informant’s report that“She Was” by Mark Chesnutt was one of the greatest all-time Country Music tear-jerkers, I was left with no choice but to investigate further to see if it could benefit our readers:

My findings will be based partly on facts and a lot of objectivity and subjectivity, and those songs found in violation will be subject to the full extent of songwriting law!

As a free song reference, I can click virtually anywhere and audition either the promotional video or hear the audio file. For this song, I simply played the song on acoustic guitar from memory to really hear and appreciate it in its simple form.

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“She Was”
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Writers:

Jimmy Melton
Neal Coty

She started her new life ten dollars in debt
That’s all it took to get started back then
A trip to the courthouse across that state line
No one could stop her
She’d made up her mind
He was eighteen,and she wasn’t

But she said she was
And never thought twice
And came back home as my daddy’s wife
She just shook her head when her mama said:
“Are you sure he’s the one?”
And she was

He took a job and farmed on the side
He made the ends meet,but she kept’em tied
Changes were comin’ to their little world
She said “What would you like?
“A boy or a girl?
And he said,”Are you?”

And she said she was
And never thought twice
‘Bout takin’ the next step in building their lives
Soon there were three and she tried to be
Everything to us
And she was

Those precious moments turned into years
In what seemed like the blink of an eye
I held her hand as I leaned down to ask her
“Momma,are you ready to say goodbye?”

And she said she was
But she thought twice
Holdin’ my hand as she let go her life
Daddy always said a woman like her
Would be hard to give up
And she was (She was)

If there ever was a picture of love

She was

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To conduct my investigation, first I’ll run the song through the song checklist.
I will then point out good techniques used as well as possible flaws in the song’s construction.

Most importantly, at the conclusion I’ll list all the cool techniques we can all apply to improve our songwriting.

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1. Song Title
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The song title was effectively used in this song. It provided a way to help color the end of each chorus differently.

E.g.,

End of 1st Chorus

—She just shook her head when her mama said:
—”Are you sure he’s the one?”
—And she was

End of 2nd Chorus

—Soon there were three and she tried to be
—Everything to us
—And she was

End of 3rd Chorus

—Daddy always said a woman like her
—Would be hard to give up
—And she was (She was)

End of song

—If there ever was a picture of love
—She was

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If you read the above you’ll see how this well-written song makes sense with just the last few lines of each section.
This is a common pro technique used to bring the song into clear focus. If you’re writing a “story” song and you plan on changing the chorus lyrics throughout your song, you can
start a song by writing the last few lines containing the song title/hook and make it the end of your first chorus. Then proceed to the 2nd and 3rd chorus,and do the same while moving the story forward.
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The song title also gives us interesting possibilities in that it used a personal pronoun (She) followed by a past tense verb (Was).

—(Personal pronouns) I, you, she, he, it, we, they

I can immediately think of a few potential titles with this
method:

I Knew……………I might use it for an (R&B) song
You Lost………….” ” ” (Country) ”
She Tried…………” ” ” (Country)
He Prayed…………” ” ” (Inspirational)
It Hurts………….” ” ” (Pop, R&B)
We Listened……….” ” ” (Rock)
They Lived………..” ” ” (Rock)

I wrote the “genres” so you can see my personal idea of the type of song which popped into my head based on the titles.  Obviously, everyone would have a different opinion on what type of song to write based on the titles because all of us have different perspectives and influences!
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2. Song Form
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The song form used in this one is:
verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus

This classic song form is virtually foolproof when it comes to attracting the masses because it’s the one most people are familiar with in popular music, regardless of the genre.

The writers definitely chose the correct song form to drive home the song’s message with each verse and chorus. In each section the singer tells the story in logical progression:

1. Before he was born, his mother assured her own mother his father was “the right one” before marrying him.

2. His parents struggled but were successful in build a quality life around their three children.

3. Time passed ever-so-quickly, his mother passed away, and his father had always told him “A woman like her would be hard to give up” to which he affirmed “She was!”
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3. Hook/Chorus
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The melody in the chorus shows contrast by having generally higher notes and right off the bat, the phrasing of the first two lines in the chorus are shorter than any other phrasings in the song:

—But she said she was
—And never thought twice

The contrast makes the first two lines of each chorus stick out like a sore thumb that’s been healed!

Notice also how the lyrics in each chorus change after the first two lines until the hook “She was.”
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4. The Verses/Pre-choruses
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Notice how the verse immediately grabs you with the totally original line, “She started her new life ten dollars in debt.”

The verse contains an uncommon amount of bars; 10 instead of the usual 8 to 16! The last two bars contain the lyrics, “He was eighteen,and she wasn’t.” This is an excellent way to get to the chorus quickly. You simply add a line after the 8th bar, and just leave it out there suspended (as if it were dangling) with
or without a rhyme to create anticipation into the chorus.
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5. The Bridge
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The bridge takes you into a totally new dimension because it’s much higher in pitch than any other section, then it drops back down in pitch before the final chorus. The result? After the final chorus lines, “And she said she was, But she thought twice,  Holdin’ my hand as she let go her life” the song busts out with more intensity than ever with the help of the following simple technique: You can use this technique at any point in a song and create surprise and momentum by lowering the intensity of musical and vocal delivery,then by intensifying at a point you feel it will give the song the most impact. Experiment!
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6. Point of View
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The writers successfully used “third person narrative” which is custom-made for story songs.
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7. Rewrite
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The song was obviously rewritten and polished. There are no wasted words.
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Verdict
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Lessons Learned
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Here are techniques and cool tips we’ve learned from this song to improve our songwriting:
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1. You can structure the idea of your song more effectively and keep the story progressing logically by writing the last 2 to 3 lines of any section (verse, chorus, etc.) before writing any other part of the song.

2. If you’re writing a story song and you would like to change the lines of each chorus, use the above method and remember to use the title consistently in those lines.

3. We found a cool way to develop song titles; Use a personal pronoun = (I, you, she, he, it, we, they), followed by a past tense verb.

I.e.,”She Was” – “We Listened” – “They Lived”

4. We were reminded the verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus not only still works well in modern music, it’s the easiest way to write a song that appeals to listeners.

5. At the beginning of a chorus, to add contrast and make your song more interesting, create the first two lines using shorter phrases while singing that part with generally higher notes than in the verse or prechorus.

6. Spend time creating an awesome opening line or lines; the rest of your song will be much clearer and more importantly, your listener will be hooked immediately.

7. Experiment by using 6, 10, and 14 bars on the first verse instead of the usual 8, 12, and 16!

8. If you add a line for 2 bars at the end of an 8 or 12 bar verse without rhyming it, you can draw focus to that line, and it’ll add anticipation and intensity to the chorus.

9. If you want to emphasize a certain part of a song, sing and play the part immediately before it, with much less intensity.
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Enjoy!

“Tune Sleuth” Investigates “Closer” by Ne-Yo

January 2nd, 2009 orlando5 1 comment

This songwriting “Tune Sleuth” investigation was originally released on September 1, 2008, but it’s one that we still get a lot of positive feedback on, so we hope you will benefit from it! 

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Tune Sleuth
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“Closer,” sung by Ne-Yo, is the subject of this Tune Sleuth investigation.
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Here’s the full report from the Tune Sleuth’s desk files:

Enjoy!
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…………………….Tune Sleuth


After receiving a confidential informant’s report that “Closer,” sung by Ne-Yo, was burning up dance floors in clubs all around the globe, I was left with no choice but to investigate further to see
if it could benefit our songwriting readers:

My findings will be based partly on facts and a lot of objectivity and subjectivity, and those songs found in violation will be subject to the full extent of songwriting law!

As a free song reference, I can click virtually anywhere and audition either the promotional video or hear the audio file. For this song, I couldn’t help but listen repeatedly while it was played on the radio twice every hour!

Like any other consumer, If I like what I hear I will purchase Ne-Yo’s CD to support and enjoy his music.

************ I always try to lead by example when it comes to preserving copyright laws, so I can only provide a few lines at a time for educational purposes only. Luckily, most artist web sites provide lyrics as a courtesy for their fans. So grab or write down the lyrics and follow along:

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                                “Closer”
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Writers:
Beite
Eriksen
Hermansen
Smith (Ne-Yo)
Stray

Here are the first few lines:

Turn the lights off in this place
And she shines just like a star
And I swear I know her face
I just don’t know who you are
Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she’s right there in my ear
Telling me
That she wants to own me
To control me
Come closer
Come closer

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To conduct my investigation, first I’ll run the song through the song checklist found at:
http://www.songwriteradvisor.com/songwriting-checklist.html

I will then point out good techniques used as well as possible flaws in the song’s construction.

Most importantly, at the conclusion I’ll list all the cool techniques we can all apply to improve our songwriting.

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1. Song Title
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There’s nothing original about the song title at all but it does reflect the message of the song which is the singer fantasizing about a female and in his dreams he wants her to keep “coming closer’ to him.
There’s only one more song in the Billboard top ten with a bland title like this one -”Forever,” and it’s a huge hit by Chris Brown.
By looking at the hit charts, it’s easy to see how hit songwriters are trying to continually create original song titles.
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2. Song Form
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The song form used in this one is:
verse-prechorus-chorus-verse-prechorus-chorus-breakdown-chorus

Hey! Here’s one to put in our bag of tricks! A “breakdown.” The song goes into a breakdown after the second chorus when the singer repeats the prechorus’ phrase “come closer” seven times, then goes deeper into the breakdown while repeating the chorus line “I just can’t stop” four times and adding the word “no” to it.
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3. Hook/Chorus
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The most obvious part of the song hook in the chorus is the short, staccato-type phrasing used, i.e., “and-I-just-can’t-pull-my-self-a-way, under-a-spell-I-can’t-break, I-just-can’t-stop.”

Interestingly however, “closer” is not used in the chorus. So, in this particular song, two big song hooks stand out; the prechorus lines “come closer” which contains the song’s title, and, the staccato lines and melody in the chorus described above.
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4. The Verses/Pre-choruses
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The first lines of the song, “Turn the lights off in this place, and she shines just like a star” immediately draw us in to hear more. The next two lines are:

And I swear I know her face
I just don’t know who you are

Here’s where it gets interesting. The fourth line would have normally been,

I just don’t know who SHE IS in order to not confuse the listener.

But it would not have rhymed! This appears to have been intentionally phrased this way, to have the singer talk directly to his fantasy girl, instead of us for just that one line in order to add emphasis. I believe it was effective! This is a good example of knowing the basic songwriting rules and breaking them!
Let’s stick this one in our bag of tricks.
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5. The Bridge
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There was no bridge used in this song but there was a “breakdown.”  A breakdown is a break in a song, usually in the dance and R&B genre, that adds contrast and builds tension with minimal elements (usually percussion and voices) played with a build up of intensity.

See the interesting parts used in this breakdown in the “song form” entry above.
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6. Point of View
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The song uses third person narrative throughout the song, a point of view commonly used in songs where a person is expressing their fantasy or opinion about someone to other people.  The only exception is the surprise line, “I just don’t know who you are,” described in the “verse” entry above.
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7. Rewrite
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The song was obviously rewritten and polished. There are no wasted words.
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Verdict
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This is definitely a solid pop/dance song destined to receive plenty of airplay on radio and dance clubs spins for quite some time. The only disappointing aspect of the whole song is the weakness in most of the verse lines.

But then again, this song appears to be one created just to get people moving on the dance floor. I doubt Ne-Yo could actually make a strong impact singing this song accompanied by just a piano or guitar because the words in the verse lack feeling and oriinality for the most part, and are simply not convincing at all. 

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Lessons Learned
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Here are techniques and cool tips we’ve learned from this song to improve our songwriting:
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1. Use a “breakdown instead of the usual bridge, instrumental, and/or rap somewhere in the middle of the song (it doesn’t have to be after the 2nd chorus-experiment!).

2. In your breakdown, use vocal elements (lines or parts of lines) from your prechorus and chorus.

3. While we’re on the subject, use a short “breakdown” repeatedly perhaps after every chorus or other song section!

4. Use short, staccato-type phrasing in your chorus to add contrast to your other song sections.

5. Put your song hook in the last line of the prechorus and either use it again in the chorus or completely leave it out of the chorus.

6. while telling a story in third person (i.e., she/he wants to leave….) insert one line in first person (i.e., I need you..), then quickly come back to telling your story in third person.

7. This reminds me: a good songwriting strategy while telling a story would be to use first person in the verse (i.e., I want to…) and third person in the chorus (i.e., But she wants to…), or vice versa!
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Here’s to your songwriting success for the new year!