This songwriting “Tune Sleuth” investigation was originally released on September 1, 2008, but it’s one that we still get a lot of positive feedback on, so we hope you will benefit from it!
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Tune Sleuth
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“Closer,” sung by Ne-Yo, is the subject of this Tune Sleuth investigation.
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Here’s the full report from the Tune Sleuth’s desk files:
Enjoy!
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…………………….Tune Sleuth
After receiving a confidential informant’s report that “Closer,” sung by Ne-Yo, was burning up dance floors in clubs all around the globe, I was left with no choice but to investigate further to see
if it could benefit our songwriting readers:
My findings will be based partly on facts and a lot of objectivity and subjectivity, and those songs found in violation will be subject to the full extent of songwriting law!
As a free song reference, I can click virtually anywhere and audition either the promotional video or hear the audio file. For this song, I couldn’t help but listen repeatedly while it was played on the radio twice every hour!
Like any other consumer, If I like what I hear I will purchase Ne-Yo’s CD to support and enjoy his music.
************ I always try to lead by example when it comes to preserving copyright laws, so I can only provide a few lines at a time for educational purposes only. Luckily, most artist web sites provide lyrics as a courtesy for their fans. So grab or write down the lyrics and follow along:
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“Closer”
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Writers:
Beite
Eriksen
Hermansen
Smith (Ne-Yo)
Stray
Here are the first few lines:
Turn the lights off in this place
And she shines just like a star
And I swear I know her face
I just don’t know who you are
Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she’s right there in my ear
Telling me
That she wants to own me
To control me
Come closer
Come closer
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To conduct my investigation, first I’ll run the song through the song checklist found at:
http://www.songwriteradvisor.com/songwriting-checklist.html
I will then point out good techniques used as well as possible flaws in the song’s construction.
Most importantly, at the conclusion I’ll list all the cool techniques we can all apply to improve our songwriting.
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1. Song Title
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There’s nothing original about the song title at all but it does reflect the message of the song which is the singer fantasizing about a female and in his dreams he wants her to keep “coming closer’ to him.
There’s only one more song in the Billboard top ten with a bland title like this one -”Forever,” and it’s a huge hit by Chris Brown.
By looking at the hit charts, it’s easy to see how hit songwriters are trying to continually create original song titles.
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2. Song Form
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The song form used in this one is:
verse-prechorus-chorus-verse-prechorus-chorus-breakdown-chorus
Hey! Here’s one to put in our bag of tricks! A “breakdown.” The song goes into a breakdown after the second chorus when the singer repeats the prechorus’ phrase “come closer” seven times, then goes deeper into the breakdown while repeating the chorus line “I just can’t stop” four times and adding the word “no” to it.
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3. Hook/Chorus
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The most obvious part of the song hook in the chorus is the short, staccato-type phrasing used, i.e., “and-I-just-can’t-pull-my-self-a-way, under-a-spell-I-can’t-break, I-just-can’t-stop.”
Interestingly however, “closer” is not used in the chorus. So, in this particular song, two big song hooks stand out; the prechorus lines “come closer” which contains the song’s title, and, the staccato lines and melody in the chorus described above.
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4. The Verses/Pre-choruses
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The first lines of the song, “Turn the lights off in this place, and she shines just like a star” immediately draw us in to hear more. The next two lines are:
And I swear I know her face
I just don’t know who you are
Here’s where it gets interesting. The fourth line would have normally been,
I just don’t know who SHE IS in order to not confuse the listener.
But it would not have rhymed! This appears to have been intentionally phrased this way, to have the singer talk directly to his fantasy girl, instead of us for just that one line in order to add emphasis. I believe it was effective! This is a good example of knowing the basic songwriting rules and breaking them!
Let’s stick this one in our bag of tricks.
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5. The Bridge
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There was no bridge used in this song but there was a “breakdown.” A breakdown is a break in a song, usually in the dance and R&B genre, that adds contrast and builds tension with minimal elements (usually percussion and voices) played with a build up of intensity.
See the interesting parts used in this breakdown in the “song form” entry above.
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6. Point of View
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The song uses third person narrative throughout the song, a point of view commonly used in songs where a person is expressing their fantasy or opinion about someone to other people. The only exception is the surprise line, “I just don’t know who you are,” described in the “verse” entry above.
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7. Rewrite
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The song was obviously rewritten and polished. There are no wasted words.
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Verdict
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This is definitely a solid pop/dance song destined to receive plenty of airplay on radio and dance clubs spins for quite some time. The only disappointing aspect of the whole song is the weakness in most of the verse lines.
But then again, this song appears to be one created just to get people moving on the dance floor. I doubt Ne-Yo could actually make a strong impact singing this song accompanied by just a piano or guitar because the words in the verse lack feeling and oriinality for the most part, and are simply not convincing at all.
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Lessons Learned
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Here are techniques and cool tips we’ve learned from this song to improve our songwriting:
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1. Use a “breakdown instead of the usual bridge, instrumental, and/or rap somewhere in the middle of the song (it doesn’t have to be after the 2nd chorus-experiment!).
2. In your breakdown, use vocal elements (lines or parts of lines) from your prechorus and chorus.
3. While we’re on the subject, use a short “breakdown” repeatedly perhaps after every chorus or other song section!
4. Use short, staccato-type phrasing in your chorus to add contrast to your other song sections.
5. Put your song hook in the last line of the prechorus and either use it again in the chorus or completely leave it out of the chorus.
6. while telling a story in third person (i.e., she/he wants to leave….) insert one line in first person (i.e., I need you..), then quickly come back to telling your story in third person.
7. This reminds me: a good songwriting strategy while telling a story would be to use first person in the verse (i.e., I want to…) and third person in the chorus (i.e., But she wants to…), or vice versa!
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Here’s to your songwriting success for the new year!
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