Here’s an example first draft of a first verse with the number of syllables in parentheses:

(4)  Another night
(5)  I’ll call out your name
(7)  The only one who answers
(5)  Is the pouring rain

(4)  I will pretend
(5)  I’m feeling your hands
(7)  I’ll let you have your way if
(5)  You don’t leave again

Notice the number of syllables in each section are exactly the same, i.e., “Another night,” and “I will pretend.”  “I’ll call out your name,” and “I’m feeling your hands.”  This lyric, aside from needing work to bring it more into focus, so it makes more sense and flows better, is extremely rigid because the phrasing of the lyrics is too methodical and unnatural.  When writing a first draft, look at each section (from 4 to 6 lines at a time – in this case 4), and try to figure out how to make sense of that particular section so that it sets up the next part.

What we want is something more like this:

(6)  Another restless night                  old line:  Another night
(5)  I’m calling your name                    old line:  I’ll call out your name
(7)  The only one who answers           old line:   The only one who answers
(5)  Is the pouring rain                        old line:   Is the pouring rain

This is flowing much better so let’s continue: 

(6)  Once again I’ll pretend                  old line:   I will pretend
(5)  The drops are your touch              old line:   I’m feeling your hands
(8)  I’ll let them fall all over me            old line:  I’ll let you have your way if
(6)  Until I’ve had enough                    old line:   You don’t leave again

Much better! Notice I took out the stiffness of the first line, “Another night”. The phrasing was changed from this: “Another night” (pa-dah-da-da) to “Another restless night” (pa-DEE-da  DA-da-dah). The phrase “Another restless night” flows and rolls off the tongue more naturally.

So this is what we have so far:

Another restless night
I’m calling your name
The only one who answers
Is the pouring rain

Once again I’ll pretend
The drops are your touch
I’ll let them fall all over me
Until I’ve had enough

In summary here are some ways to loosen your lyrics:

1. Pick out the most important word in each line and try to substitute it with a synonym, related word, or antonym. E.g., in the first line we have so far, I would focus on “night” because it tells us when the song is occurring. If I changed this word  to “day” (antonym), maybe my first line would be, “I’ll spend another day” or “I’ll spend a whole new day,” This would open up new ideas and ways of saying that particular line, and would quite possibly change the whole complexion of the song. One good word can guide and reel the listener in, and one misused one can lose your listener.

2.  Get into the habit of consciously trying to say and sing your lines the way you speak them naturally, and try not to force a word or words into a line because you’re stuck for a word! If you get stuck, don’t settle-move to the next line; chances are that previous line will become clearer to you and write itself!

3. In one line, write two or three words in legato style (phrasing joined together and smooth), and finish that line by pausing for a breath before singing the last two or three words staccatto style. I.e., in Flo Rida Featuring will.i.am’s big club hit “In The Ayer” the first line is simple but a great example of this but in reverse of the above suggestion, “(staccatto) Oh-hot-damn (pause) this is my jam (”this is my” has more of a “legato” feel ).  In other words, let your lyrics breathe and don’t just use too many straight quarter notes in a row unless you’re going after a certain, intentional effect! 

In this article, let’s explore a simple method to improve your first verse lines. Remember, your first two lines are the ones that keep the listener interested enough to hear more. You really want the first two lines to directly relate, or at least hint at the song’s title.  Many times, when you give your first verse some clarity the rest of the song follows suit and it makes for easier, more effective songwriting.

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Let’s say the song title is “Don’t Get Carried Away,” and the first four lines in the first verse are:

I’ve been looking at you all night
And I think you know
My intentions can’t be
The answer to your dreams

Not a very clear first four lines! It doesn’t do anything for me, that’s for sure. There’s a lack of focus, and really, the song can take off aimlessly in any direction right now.  So let’s focus!

First, I’ll ask myself what I want the song to be about. Taking the song title, “Don’t Get Carried Away,” I’m thinking maybe this can be a pop or country song. Before I begin, I need to summarize the song’s idea in one sentence. Here are some possibilities:

1. I just met this woman, we’ve hit it off, but she’s not looking for a one-night stand and she wants to retain her respectability at any cost, so she’s telling me to cool it!

2. I’m not ready to commit to a long-term relationship yet, and you need to slow down with all this marriage and babies talk before you scare me off!

Number 2 sounds cool but I’m thinking I’ll save it for another song which means I’ll use number 1 as the song’s idea. Let’s review the first 4 lines:

I’ve been looking at you all night
And I think you know
My intentions can’t be
The answer to your dreams

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“I’ve been looking at you all night” sounds plain and limp. Let’s give that line some life and hopefully everything else will fall into place a little better.

My eyes have been locked into yours all night

Wow, much better!

So what do I want to say in the rest of the first verse?  I want to say I know she’s interested in me, too.

My eyes have been locked into yours all night
Now tell me it isn’t so
Your smile has found me more than once or twice
Enough to tell me all I need to know

Much more interesting and powerful, and quite possibly the start of a solid country tune, written right here in real-time!

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In summary, it’s wise to map out a story line for the entire song, then to break down the story in sections if you have to. Now, I do agree there are times when excellent melodies and lines naturally appear out of thin air!  But if you want to consistently write good songs, get in the habit of mapping out and knowing what you’re trying to say either on paper or in your head before you write it!

Focus on your first verse, make it strong and memorable, and be clear about where you’re going with the song as it relates to the song’s idea. Your songwriting will usually become effortless thereafter!

Lyrics © 2008 SongwriterAdvisor.com All Rights Reserved

Next time you write a song try this: 

1.  Take your song worksheet and underneath all of your noun, verb, and other words entries, and leave some space on the bottom for lyric phrases.

2.  Take your title, and start asking, “Who, what, where, when, why, and how?” and use the bottom of your worksheet to enter the following method: For example: If my song title is, “I’ve Known All Along,” first I need to clarify in my mind what I’m trying to say with the song title – this is the song idea or theme. The song could be about (a) someone catching the other cheating, (b) someone saying they never doubted themselves, (c) someone saying they were sure the other would fall in love with them, etc.

For this example, I’ll pick (c) as my song idea to illustrate this method.

Now I’ll start asking questions, and I’ll write ideas, not necessarily lines for the song in finished form, just basic thoughts that come to my head:

Remember the song idea for “I’ve Known All Along” was (c) someone saying they were sure the other would fall in love with them.

With this as your starting point you should have enough ideas to begin putting your lyrics together by starting out with powerful opening lines in your first verse and chorus.
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For example, in this song, my first line in the first verse could be:

I can believe it’s come to this………<< taken from “I’m not surprised” entry in, “What?”

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The first few lines in the chorus might look like this:

I’ve known all along…………………………………………………<<song title
I’ve known all along…………………………………………………<<song title
Your eyes have always told me………………<from “the way your eyes……” in Why? 
With you I could never go wrong……………< unrelated to this exercise

The last line “With you I could never go wrong” was a line naturally sparked by the other lines as a result of this method.  Now, this is by no means a masterpiece of a line but it’s certainly a great starting point.  And that’s exactly what this method is about, sparking ideas and creating a starting point!